Solutions

I feel a little bit out of the loop.
Not like the loop like
people murmuring things to people or
hey did you see what he did at that party last night or
omg inside joke hahahahaha
no, like out of the loop of reality.
Sometimes I'm in the middle of talking and I
suddenly shift into different perspective, watching myself
gesticulate and grin like I always do
except the person doesn't smile and I feel
like I don't know myself anymore
and nothing is right. Maybe it is just a ploy
for attention, but isn't that what
everyone does?
I feel a little bit out of the loop,
like I forget what humor feels like,
or what a smile can do if you control it right.
I feel a little bit like whoever is
plucking my strings, my puppeteer
is also confused. I rock my
head back to look up at them, a grimace on my
wooden face, and their face is like mine,
upset and unknowing.
It is all very sick.