24.3.10

Helpless

There is nothing to be done when
you will never be proud of me.
There is nothing I can do
that will open up your eyes,
nothing I can attempt to watch
the joy well in your gaze.
Over and over and over I struggle
to make you smile and
forget your worries, but
all I see is your nonchalant nod,
your constant persistence that
I am not good enough.
I am not good enough.
I am not good enough.

There is nothing to be done when
I can never please you.
There is nothing I can do
that will bring a grin to your face
without some type of disclaimer
and nothing is surreal.
Every single day is a fight
to keep everybody around me
happy. Period.
'You' is the world, I am the abyss
or so it feels, wrapped up in
melodrama and inconsistencies,
and maybe that's why I'm alone.
I am not good enough.

4 comments:

  1. the first stanza is not about friends.
    the second stanza is not about friends.
    if I had a third stanza, it would more than likely not be about friends.
    Just to clear up confusion. <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just 'cause I'm always paranoid. XD
    I'm sorry you feel that way, Nikkilove. :/ You are good enough, but me telling you that won't make you believe it. You're so much better than that. You're amazing and wonderful, but I know you're not going to believe me, and that's all cool. I guess I just mean it won't make a difference until you can convince yourself. Because I'm the same way and you've spent so much time trying to convince me.
    I love you incredibly much. The stars aligned the day we met and will still be aligned until the day we die. You're my kindred soul, babydoll. :) <3
    Love you, dearest.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just want you to know you are more then good enough for me.
    I don't know where I would be without you, probably not in such a good place. I wish I could make you feel the same way.
    I love you lots.

    (lots of I's in this post, must work on that.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. <3 don't worry about your I's XD
    thank you both <3333 I love you both also, very very much.

    ReplyDelete